is there any hope left for me.

I see colours in the space of time; dancing, vanishing and reappearing. I see the shapes of my current thoughts bubbling up the surface like oil forcing its way through boiling water. What am I thinking. What am I dreaming.

I see the road leading to a fork up ahead. Should I go left, or should I go right. Or should I turn back. Is there anything waiting for me if I go on. What if there isn't. What if I'm lost. Maybe I'm right back at the beginning of the board game, and I need to climb up the ladders and down the snakes before I reach the end.

Where are you. Are you lost, or have I lost you. I see myself slowly slipping away from the depths of your mind. This is me, trying to claw my way back in. I'm clinging on the edge, hoping for a miracle to come by and whisk me away into nothingness.

I see pieces of myself trailing behind me, a reminder of where I came from and the lengths I took to glue myself back together. I am half-dead already. Did you know. Did you notice. They told me I'd be doomed if I took that plunge, and I did. So I am doomed, I suppose.

I see the dotted line between reality and hope. Which side are you on. The line is torn and it becomes a river, and I am stranded on the other side. A bridge stands, burning. It is five seconds before midnight and I'm still waiting. Is there any hope left for me.

---
March '09

don't turn off your light.

She keeps on telling herself she shouldn't worry.

She can't deny, however, that there's a little part in her that grows bigger everyday; waiting, wishing, clinging strongly to that little piece of hope she's seeing. She still hopes for that light in front of her to shine brighter...

But it's flickering - sometimes dim, sometimes glowing, sometimes it's as bright as a fallen ray of sunshine, and she's thankful that it's never dark, never black.

It's always there; teasing her, beckoning her, messing around with her train of thoughts.

And she'll keep on walking towards it as long as you don't turn off your light.

---
March '09

MGMT Live on Abbey Road

Awesome, awesome live from 2008. Fantasticooooo!

the past week.

Hello, did you miss me?

Don't lie to me, I see you twitching! But just to make things clear: Yes, I'm still alive. You didn't miss anything much from me, I do after all lead a pretty boring life. However, let me present you some of the not-so-boring highlights of my past week:

1) Got drunk on the sidewalk on a freaking work night. Wednesday night, to be exact. I did a lot of stupid things, like running away from dogs on a leash, lying down on the pavement, and (of course) being unable to get up. I bought two cans of Bear Beer but only managed to finish one. Damn that 12%. I do love getting drunk outdoors. Must do it again sometime.

2) Last week was my last internship week at The Office, and I spent my last day finishing up until four in the morning. Which was actually quite... Fun! Just me and the PC, doing our thing. Yeah, baby, right there. Contrary to most people, I actually like working late night hours. My brain functions properly when the office is all nice and quiet. I can listen to my iPod and not be distracted by passing people or that Katy Perry song from the next cubicle. Those two cans of Red Bull were certainly a lot of help as well! Sugar high! Whee.

3) Spent my Saturday Night at Hartamas Square. Haven't been there in the longest time and it was as packed as I remembered it. Everyone else were drinking beer, and there I was clinking glasses with my Teh Tarik. My friend finished this freaking huge bottle of Carlsberg all by himself, and was still able to drive me home all the way back to Damansara. Damn, dude. I raise my glass to you.

4) Now which stupid prick runs out of the house at a moment's notice to see the full moon? This stupid prick did. Yes, that's me you saw running out of the condo with my eyes gazing dreamily towards the sky. I caught what I'd like to call, The Full Moon Effect. Giddyness. Sudden rush of excitement. Euphoria. Called a friend while staring breathlessly at the moon, and he thought I was stoned. Nice.

5) There is actually something else that's been happening in my life lately, something that I'd love to tell you more than anything else in the world.. But will refrain myself in doing so. Although, I will tell you what it feels like. It feels like an addiction, a lawful drug that keeps me constantly on my toes, curious and impatient. God knows I'm doomed, but yeah, I'm having the time of my life...